Sunday, September 12, 2010

Out on the Open Road

The drive from Houston to DC is approximately 22 hours. Tisha and I decided to break the time up between two days, driving 11 hours each day. The first day we had planned to stay in Birmingham, Alabama. However, on the drive there, we stopped in some little town to get gas and water. After I had finished using the restroom, I came out and noticed Tisha talking to the cashier about the drive and they are both looking at a map. The lady asks us where we are staying, we reply, "Birmingham," at which point the lady's face goes completely white as if she had just seen a ghost. She starts telling us how ghetto and unsafe Birmingham is. Another customer in the gas station now pipes in saying, "yeah, people get shot at ATMs all the time in Birmingham. There is no reason two girls, all alone, need to be going to that town." The cashier pipes in again and says, "My cousin got mugged in Birmingham, and they cut her face, she still has a scar all down the side of her face." Tisha and I decide at this point that we are NOT going to be staying there. However, Tisha and I are just trying to leave the gas station, but now there are probably 10 people surrounding us, all giving there opinion about Birmingham. I felt like the cashier was standing on the counter yelling, "blue light special, these two girls are far from home and traveling alone!!!" I honestly bolted to the car. We ended up hitting a super bad storm probably 30 minutes after leaving the gas station. We couldn't see out the windows and everyone was pulling off to the side of the road. We finally get to Tuscaloosa and called it a night.

The next day we continue driving, just talking and trying to get to know one another. Nothing too exciting happened. We decided to stop driving about 2.5 hours out of Alexandria to finish the drive on Tuesday morning. All of the hotels were booked except the Comfort Inn. They had a framed award in the front lobby that read, "Best hotel chain of 1986!" I guess they were really holding onto that glory. Tisha tried to purchase some Advil, but they didn't have any. However, the nice creepy guy behind the desk offered to give her some from him backpack. Tisha politely declined. We went to the nearby gas station where some trashy guy "mmmmmmmm"ed at Tisha. She didn't say anything to him so he got angry and started making comments under his breath. On the way out he called her a "Chicken Head". We just laughed it off and went to bed.

On Tuesday we woke up fairly early to get driving to Alexandria. We pulled off the freeway and looked at all the apartments. I made a comment similar to, "If one of those is our complex, I am NOT living there, that looks like the projects!" Lucky for us, none of those were our complex, but ours was right in the middle of them all! YAY! Tisha and I both freaked out and almost started crying. The town house we had originally planned on getting was super shitty and completely unsafe. We decided to move into a secured entrance apartment (same complex) instead.

I guess we're here, we're really doing going back now!

Just touched down in Houston Town

So, Houston was an experience I can only refer to as "Interesting". Joe picked me up from the airport where we proceeded to drive to his house. The second I stepped out of the airport I felt like I was melting, the humidity was horrendous!

The first night, Wednesday, Joe, Dan, and I went out to Cheers and Howl at the Moon. Everything went well and everyone got along. Dan and I stayed up until 5 AM catching up, making jokes, and apparently keeping Joe's roommate up all night.

Thursday, Joe, Dan, and I went to lunch and had some Mexican food. Afterward we went to the mall where Joe and Dan discovered "water beads". They are beads that absorb water and are used for plants and such. However, when we were feeling the balls, the kiosk owner states, "and they're always wet." At this moment, Dan's eyes lit up as if he had just won a million dollars. Joe had a very similar reaction. Many jokes arose about the boys wanting to buy the water beads so that they could stick their dicks in the bowl of beads and stir them around. Tisha arrived to town later that night and the four of us went to a bar in Midtown for some turtle races. While at the bar, Dan dropped his beer bottle on the ground, shooting glass into my toe making me bleed all over. After I got cleaned up, we proceeded to drink more. I don't remember many specifics from the night, but apparently it involved me pulling on some guys hair and grabbing his ass. Everyone thought he was some random guy at the bar, but I am pretty sure him and I had spent some time conversing at the bar while trying to order drinks. Either way, I'll never see him again so I don't really care. Dan ended up getting a parking ticket and his car towed, costing him over $200 to get it back. I passed out in Joe's bed with my head in a bucket.

Friday, Tisha, Joe, and I went back to the mall so that Tisha could get some makeup. On the way out of the mall we both realized Joe had lost it. He started behaving similar to a child who was far overdue for a nap. In the car, he proceeded to drive very angrily and pound his fists on everything in the car. As soon as we got back to his place, Tisha and I bailed and went to Dan's house. Later that evening we all went to dinner where Tisha and Dan got into a heated discussion over proper dining etiquette. After dinner we decided to go meet up with Dan's brother at some bar called Kryptonite. This place was a total cave, underground, dark, and some kind of smoke effect. No matter which way you looked you would see thugs, it was Gangsta-town USA in that place. Tisha got hit on by all the hot guys, the kind missing teeth,just released from jail, dancing and humping the ground, you know, the really classy ones. As the night was drawing in, we noticed Dan's brother's girlfriend beating the shit out of Dan's brother. I would have never expected the cave to suddenly turn into the Jerry Springer show. It was quite hilarious, but also our cue that we needed to get the hell out of there.

Saturday, oh Saturday, the night of pure chaos and confusion. Saturday night we decide that everyone needs to go out. You can tell that Dan and Joe are beginning to get on each others nerves. They are both alpha males with complete opposite personalities. Anyway, we go to dinner with Joe's Roommate, 3 of her friends, Oz, Dan, Tisha, and I. Tensions began to rise after dinner when nobody could agree on a bar to go to. Finally, we conclude on going to Howl at the Moon. Joe is already pissy and pouting on the way over, Dan ran off ahead to meet up with some friends, and Tisha and I were just over everything already. Once at Howl, everything spun out of control. I am not sure the order everything happened in, but I will try to recall.
1. Everyone begins drinking heavily to get over all the chaos that has happened.
2. Dan makes a comment to Tisha along the lines of, "At Kryptonite, Lindsay and I were the only white people in the bar, and tonight, you're the only black person here." This sets Tisha off, she runs outside, nobody knows where she is. Finally we find her on the phone with her friend and she is crying. She pulls herself together, gets over it and comes back inside.
3. Joe won't talk to anyone but Oz, yet proceeds to get more and more angry and jealous that Tisha and I are talking to other people in the bar,specifically Dan.
4. Oz tells me he is gay, I believed him, as I wouldn't care. I mentioned it to Tisha as it was a really weird situation since he just approached me and said, "I'm gay." Tisha decided it was a great idea to ask Joe's roommate if it was true. Joe's roommate yells at Oz, "OMG you are not GAY, go and tell them you are NOT GAY!!" Oz freaks out, runs over to me, I am humiliated beyond belief and run off to get out of the situation.
5. Everyone decides to leave the bar because everyone is pissed at everyone.
6. I try to talk to Joe as we leave the bar. He starts yelling at me and telling me how stupid I am. He finishes the conversation with, "Fuck you, get the fuck away from me and find your own way home!" So, I walked the opposite way as him just to make him happy, even though we were all going back to his house.
7. Dan realizes he gets his car towed again. He is super pissed and is trying to call all of the towing companies in town to figure out where the hell it is.
8. Joe is still going crazy, yelling at everyone. Tisha and Dan are in Joe's room trying to figure out what to do, and I am in Joe's bathroom yelling at Jeff on the phone.
9. Tisha finally passes out, Oz takes Dan to get his car, and I am trying to get Joe to calm down and talk to me. He is super irritated and freaked out again, yelled at me, and pinned me down super angrily. Finally I calm him down at which point he drunkenly professes his undying love for me and proceeds to tell me that if I lived in the Houston area, he would ask me to marry him. I, at the time, was cracking up. I mean, how the hell do you go from yelling and screaming at someone one second and then proposing to them the next?!?

Houston time done. Tisha and I woke up early the next morning to get on the road to DC.