Sunday, November 14, 2010

A taste of freedom

This weekend has been interesting to say the least. Some really fun times and a few great stories. On Friday, I had to go to Baltimore to count wood products for work. I decided it would be easier to take the train versus trying to drive. Let me tell you, I am so glad I made that decision. Baltimore is slummy as hell! I would have freaked out had I driven into town having no idea where to go. I got back to DC around 6:30 on Friday and immediately headed to my end of busy season party at Bar Dupont. I had only eaten two slices of pizza that day for lunch, so naturally, my few glasses of wine hit me pretty hard. My buddy Sid came and met up with me at the bar and we proceeded to head to Chinatown to meet up with a few other people. After being at the bar for a little while, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. When I had not returned after a little while, Sid sent another girl into the bathroom to find me. He ended up coming into the bathroom with her, and somehow got into the stall I was in. Apparently I was hunched over and passed out. Sid tapped me on the shoulder to ask if I was okay, at which point, I apparently looked at him and said, "God Sid, can't you just let me pee?!!?" Once he realized I was indeed peeing and my pants were around my knees, he bolted out of the bathroom....poor poor Sid.

The next morning, I woke up and headed back to Alexandria to get my emissions tested. I hadn't been home yet, so I still looked like hell from the night before. I was at the auto place and sitting on the curb while they worked on my car. Then, a guy came up to me, handed me a stool, and said, "Umm honey, maybe you should sit on this, you don't want to show your goods off to everybody"... I died laughing. I mean, I clearly looked like a train wreck anyway, I am just elated everyone else took noticed.

After completing my errands I went back to DC to meet up with my friends for our drinking marathon. We were at the Front Page drinking and having a good time. I decided to go to the bathroom (I was still sober at the time) and completely fell down the flight of stairs leading to the bathroom. Unfortunately, no one was around to witness the nice little tumble I took. After recovering, we all hung out at the Front Page for a while longer and then headed to Dirty Martini, a new bar that just opened up in Dupont. They had some DELICIOUS drinks. Everyone kept their cool throughout the night and just had a great time.

I feel very lucky to have stumbled into the group of friends I have found in DC. Everyone is so friendly and welcoming, super nice and have fantastic senses of humor. I could have not asked for a better set of friends! I am looking forward to the many other shenanigans we will undoubtedly experience over the next two months before I return to Boise!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The BIG Breakup

Dear Busy Season,

I have spent a lot of time thinking and I am under the belief that it would be best if we broke up. While we have spent the last two and a half months together, I no longer think our relationship is healthy. Although our relationship was tolerable in the beginning, I feel I am now in constant misery. You steal all my free time and prevent me from socializing with my friends and family. I am often cranky and easily excitable because of you. I no longer like the person I have become. You cause me to drink excessively, which may not always be a bad thing, but I’d rather drink for fun and not to drown out the pain and agony you undoubtedly cause me on a daily basis. I haven’t been able to sleep for over a month and constantly toss and turn all night long due to the stress you interject in my life. While the free dinners were a nice side benefit, I am sick of eating at crappy restaurants and would much prefer to cook for myself alone in my house. I am sorry if this is painful for you, but for now, this is something I need to do for myself and my sanity. Maybe one day in the future we can attempt to be friends, but right now I WANT MY LIFE BACK, so please stay away.

Love Always,

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Finding a "Crew"

So, on Friday a coworker and I decided to go out for happy hour after work. She insisted on inviting others from the office and I vetoed the idea. I spend enough time with those people, I don't need to go out, try to have fun, and be consumed by work for more of my life than already occuring. Anyway, we decided we would go to the Front Page, a bar in Dupont Circle. While at the Front Page, three people took the table next to us and decided to have Irish Car Bomb shots, we thought they looked good and ordered a few to take with them. From there, we all co-mingled and became "friends". This was the first time I have met a group of people, rather than one person at a time. It was a great feeling. When meeting one person, I feel pressured by the whole "dating/sexual attraction" weight. The three of them turned into about 10 by the end of the night, we all drank, danced, and just had a great time. I can totally see myself hanging out with these people, they seemed pretty cool.

As the night progressed I had one guy, who reminds me of Scott from Keeping up with the Kardashians, who was trying to get me to go home with him. He tried to sell himself as the "Most Mediocre 73 seconds of Your Life" which I kind of appreciated, at least he is honest hahah. I had another guy, who when introduced to me, grabbed my hand, pulled me in, kissed my neck and said "let's get out of here babe"... can you say CREEPY. Needless to say, I didn't talk to that guy again. Sometimes guys are just drunk, sometimes they are just creeps. I would like to take this time to thank my guys friends in Boise (Blake and Tim) for showing me the clear difference between the two.

I stayed out until about 11 as I had to work in the morning, I gave my number to numerous people in the "crew" I had met. We now have plans to meet up for happy hour again next week. I am desperately itching to find good humored people to hang out with that do not currently work for KPMG. I can see myself intertwined with this group of people, I just can't fuck this one up...ummm, which might be highly unlikely as I seem to mess EVERYTHING up! Whoops!

Past stories...

So, I have not been adding posts to my blog because I feel I have so many great stories to share with everyone that I have yet to be able to write about. However, I think I need to bypass posting those stories and catch up in life. If you would like to hear the following stories (which are very entertaining) please let me know and I will be more than glad to share them with you:

1. The "Cock Sucker" Bum
2. Cody Does DC
3. Lindsay Turns Vampire on Boy Band Look Alike
4. If at First You Don't Succeed, Try Try Again for Another 5 Hours
5. Never Ride in Cars with Strangers, But What if It's Your Only Way Home?
6. The Ultimate Faceplant

I am sure there are other stories from my time here in DC, however these are the best ones. I have been nothing but CRAZY busy with work. I will be busy until November 12th, so until then, I can't promise any great stories or adventures until then. However, I have decided, while in DC I need to live my life for the story. So, here's to nothing...

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Out on the Open Road

The drive from Houston to DC is approximately 22 hours. Tisha and I decided to break the time up between two days, driving 11 hours each day. The first day we had planned to stay in Birmingham, Alabama. However, on the drive there, we stopped in some little town to get gas and water. After I had finished using the restroom, I came out and noticed Tisha talking to the cashier about the drive and they are both looking at a map. The lady asks us where we are staying, we reply, "Birmingham," at which point the lady's face goes completely white as if she had just seen a ghost. She starts telling us how ghetto and unsafe Birmingham is. Another customer in the gas station now pipes in saying, "yeah, people get shot at ATMs all the time in Birmingham. There is no reason two girls, all alone, need to be going to that town." The cashier pipes in again and says, "My cousin got mugged in Birmingham, and they cut her face, she still has a scar all down the side of her face." Tisha and I decide at this point that we are NOT going to be staying there. However, Tisha and I are just trying to leave the gas station, but now there are probably 10 people surrounding us, all giving there opinion about Birmingham. I felt like the cashier was standing on the counter yelling, "blue light special, these two girls are far from home and traveling alone!!!" I honestly bolted to the car. We ended up hitting a super bad storm probably 30 minutes after leaving the gas station. We couldn't see out the windows and everyone was pulling off to the side of the road. We finally get to Tuscaloosa and called it a night.

The next day we continue driving, just talking and trying to get to know one another. Nothing too exciting happened. We decided to stop driving about 2.5 hours out of Alexandria to finish the drive on Tuesday morning. All of the hotels were booked except the Comfort Inn. They had a framed award in the front lobby that read, "Best hotel chain of 1986!" I guess they were really holding onto that glory. Tisha tried to purchase some Advil, but they didn't have any. However, the nice creepy guy behind the desk offered to give her some from him backpack. Tisha politely declined. We went to the nearby gas station where some trashy guy "mmmmmmmm"ed at Tisha. She didn't say anything to him so he got angry and started making comments under his breath. On the way out he called her a "Chicken Head". We just laughed it off and went to bed.

On Tuesday we woke up fairly early to get driving to Alexandria. We pulled off the freeway and looked at all the apartments. I made a comment similar to, "If one of those is our complex, I am NOT living there, that looks like the projects!" Lucky for us, none of those were our complex, but ours was right in the middle of them all! YAY! Tisha and I both freaked out and almost started crying. The town house we had originally planned on getting was super shitty and completely unsafe. We decided to move into a secured entrance apartment (same complex) instead.

I guess we're here, we're really doing going back now!

Just touched down in Houston Town

So, Houston was an experience I can only refer to as "Interesting". Joe picked me up from the airport where we proceeded to drive to his house. The second I stepped out of the airport I felt like I was melting, the humidity was horrendous!

The first night, Wednesday, Joe, Dan, and I went out to Cheers and Howl at the Moon. Everything went well and everyone got along. Dan and I stayed up until 5 AM catching up, making jokes, and apparently keeping Joe's roommate up all night.

Thursday, Joe, Dan, and I went to lunch and had some Mexican food. Afterward we went to the mall where Joe and Dan discovered "water beads". They are beads that absorb water and are used for plants and such. However, when we were feeling the balls, the kiosk owner states, "and they're always wet." At this moment, Dan's eyes lit up as if he had just won a million dollars. Joe had a very similar reaction. Many jokes arose about the boys wanting to buy the water beads so that they could stick their dicks in the bowl of beads and stir them around. Tisha arrived to town later that night and the four of us went to a bar in Midtown for some turtle races. While at the bar, Dan dropped his beer bottle on the ground, shooting glass into my toe making me bleed all over. After I got cleaned up, we proceeded to drink more. I don't remember many specifics from the night, but apparently it involved me pulling on some guys hair and grabbing his ass. Everyone thought he was some random guy at the bar, but I am pretty sure him and I had spent some time conversing at the bar while trying to order drinks. Either way, I'll never see him again so I don't really care. Dan ended up getting a parking ticket and his car towed, costing him over $200 to get it back. I passed out in Joe's bed with my head in a bucket.

Friday, Tisha, Joe, and I went back to the mall so that Tisha could get some makeup. On the way out of the mall we both realized Joe had lost it. He started behaving similar to a child who was far overdue for a nap. In the car, he proceeded to drive very angrily and pound his fists on everything in the car. As soon as we got back to his place, Tisha and I bailed and went to Dan's house. Later that evening we all went to dinner where Tisha and Dan got into a heated discussion over proper dining etiquette. After dinner we decided to go meet up with Dan's brother at some bar called Kryptonite. This place was a total cave, underground, dark, and some kind of smoke effect. No matter which way you looked you would see thugs, it was Gangsta-town USA in that place. Tisha got hit on by all the hot guys, the kind missing teeth,just released from jail, dancing and humping the ground, you know, the really classy ones. As the night was drawing in, we noticed Dan's brother's girlfriend beating the shit out of Dan's brother. I would have never expected the cave to suddenly turn into the Jerry Springer show. It was quite hilarious, but also our cue that we needed to get the hell out of there.

Saturday, oh Saturday, the night of pure chaos and confusion. Saturday night we decide that everyone needs to go out. You can tell that Dan and Joe are beginning to get on each others nerves. They are both alpha males with complete opposite personalities. Anyway, we go to dinner with Joe's Roommate, 3 of her friends, Oz, Dan, Tisha, and I. Tensions began to rise after dinner when nobody could agree on a bar to go to. Finally, we conclude on going to Howl at the Moon. Joe is already pissy and pouting on the way over, Dan ran off ahead to meet up with some friends, and Tisha and I were just over everything already. Once at Howl, everything spun out of control. I am not sure the order everything happened in, but I will try to recall.
1. Everyone begins drinking heavily to get over all the chaos that has happened.
2. Dan makes a comment to Tisha along the lines of, "At Kryptonite, Lindsay and I were the only white people in the bar, and tonight, you're the only black person here." This sets Tisha off, she runs outside, nobody knows where she is. Finally we find her on the phone with her friend and she is crying. She pulls herself together, gets over it and comes back inside.
3. Joe won't talk to anyone but Oz, yet proceeds to get more and more angry and jealous that Tisha and I are talking to other people in the bar,specifically Dan.
4. Oz tells me he is gay, I believed him, as I wouldn't care. I mentioned it to Tisha as it was a really weird situation since he just approached me and said, "I'm gay." Tisha decided it was a great idea to ask Joe's roommate if it was true. Joe's roommate yells at Oz, "OMG you are not GAY, go and tell them you are NOT GAY!!" Oz freaks out, runs over to me, I am humiliated beyond belief and run off to get out of the situation.
5. Everyone decides to leave the bar because everyone is pissed at everyone.
6. I try to talk to Joe as we leave the bar. He starts yelling at me and telling me how stupid I am. He finishes the conversation with, "Fuck you, get the fuck away from me and find your own way home!" So, I walked the opposite way as him just to make him happy, even though we were all going back to his house.
7. Dan realizes he gets his car towed again. He is super pissed and is trying to call all of the towing companies in town to figure out where the hell it is.
8. Joe is still going crazy, yelling at everyone. Tisha and Dan are in Joe's room trying to figure out what to do, and I am in Joe's bathroom yelling at Jeff on the phone.
9. Tisha finally passes out, Oz takes Dan to get his car, and I am trying to get Joe to calm down and talk to me. He is super irritated and freaked out again, yelled at me, and pinned me down super angrily. Finally I calm him down at which point he drunkenly professes his undying love for me and proceeds to tell me that if I lived in the Houston area, he would ask me to marry him. I, at the time, was cracking up. I mean, how the hell do you go from yelling and screaming at someone one second and then proposing to them the next?!?

Houston time done. Tisha and I woke up early the next morning to get on the road to DC.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Bon Voyage!!

So, I left Boise today to begin the adventure of my lifetime. Recently I decided to offer myself up for a 15 month rotation to Washington DC to assist my Company in their federal practice. I kind of made the decision spontaneously, and once I began inquiring about the rotation, the whole process snowballed so quickly I no longer felt like I had much of a choice. As such, I am now on my way to living in DC. I have never really been to the east coast, so I anticipate the move being quite the escapade and hopefully many good times, experiences, and lifelong memories.
Over the past week I have said goodbye to all of my closest friends in Boise, which has been fairly difficult. Last night I said goodbye to Blake and Tim which have been two of my best friends over the past several years. It was a very nonchalant “goodbye, see you soon” which is exactly what I needed, or else they would have been stuck at my house for hours longer as I cried on the floor in fetal position. Of any of my friends, I know those two will keep in contact and hopefully make their way to DC to come and visit me! This morning I finished packing up all of my belongings and loading them into my car and luggage. As I began to get overwhelmed I called up my other good buddy Kyle and forced him to come back to my house and help me. After everything was packed we proceeded to have a dance party in my empty bedroom to The Backstreet Boys’ “I want it that way” for good time sake. Kyle then took me to the airport to begin my journey.
Before going to DC I am flying to Houston to hang out with some of my buddies from work that I have met over the past few years at annual training. I flew from Boise to Denver where I had a flight change. While going through security I was pulled aside so that an agent could check my duffel bag full of jewelry, which they thought was fishing gear…who knows? My layover was only supposed to be thirty minutes long, which I was very excited about. Upon landing in Denver and deplaning, I looked at the departure screen to notice my flight had been delayed an hour and forty five minutes?! I proceeded to sit in the terminal and watch 48 Hours Mystery episodes on my laptop until the plane finally arrived. Now, I am in the air and hoping we get to Houston at a decent hour. Additionally, I am hoping my friend Joe comes inside to get me as I have way too much luggage and was already a complete mess trying to get it all into the Boise Airport by myself.
I will be in Houston for the next several days. I have never been to Texas but am totally dreading the heat and the humidity. Other than that, I think I am going to have a great time. From Houston, Tisha (my future DC roommate) and I will drive to DC, beginning Sunday. I believe the total drive time is somewhere around twenty hours. We don’t really know each other well, so I guess this will be the big test. If we can survive being stuck in a car with one another for a few days, I think we can survive living together in a random city for the next year!
Alright! Here’s to a great 15 months, lots of memories, an abundance of new friends, and a life changing experience!